Monthly Archives: March 2010

So, I’ll say it! Give me love!!

Posted on March 19, 2010 | 4 Comments

Why do we spend hours upon hours of our lives trying to understand what we are about? Who and why we are attracted to certain people? What makes us tick and what ticks us off? Why do we spend the first 10 or more years of our adult life carefully planning every goal, striving to maintain a spot free personal and professional resume? It’s so we will be found attractive by others!

In our society today in our personal lives both men and women… know how to buy groceries, cook, clean, wash clothes, and sew a button. Both men and women… know how to take out the trash, paint the kitchen, change the oil, and cut the grass. If we don’t know how, we’ve got the number to the business that can provide the service. Why all the effort to be self-sufficient? Because we are a society proud to claim “I don’t need anyone!” If you’re not in agreement with me I’ll give you that… but only for a second. In your case, do you seek that special someone in your life, and proudly carry your “I got this” safety net? You know what I’m saying… after a break-up do you tell yourself “See, I didn’t need him, I can fix the faucet without his help!” Let’s face it. Truth be told though, most still need and desire companionship. So, I’ll say it! Give me love!! Ms. Jill Scott says it perfectly in her song: “I Need You.”

I hate to post the entire song, so I won’t. I wish I knew the equivalent song from a man to a woman, but I don’t. I’m not a music connoisseur. Maybe, someone can help a sista out. If you don’t know the words to Jill’s song you need to check them out in their entirety! The Fact Is I Need You.

Here is a small excerpt…

I'll Say It at primarythoughts.net“I can pay my own light bill baby
Pump my own gas in my own car
I can buy my own shoe collection
I’ve been blessed thus far
I can kill the spider above my bed
Although it’s hard because I’m scared
I can even stain and polyurethane
But some things just don’t change… I Need You.”

For me, that’s it. It’s just that simple.

So get off your self-glorifying pedestal and submit; submit to the love you know you want… the love you desire. What are you going to do to find the man to perfectly fit your body curve? Have you already missed the boat? Men, what about you? Regrets anyone? Or do you have that perfect “we made it happen” success story to share?

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The Team: God, A Single Mother and Her Son

Posted on March 8, 2010 | 8 Comments

Football player at primarythoughts.net

As the mother of a son whose father has been absent for most of his 11 years, I’ve attempted to embrace mentoring programs, church ministries, sport leagues and other avenues to bring forth a male presence in my son’s life. Like many families, our extended family is spread across the country, so it’s not as simple as him hanging out with an uncle or a cousin. It’s been hard and along the way, we have met many obstacles.

Our primary dilemma? Education comes first. For the extent of my son’s academic education, he has participated in a Majority to Minority program (commonly called M-to-M). Simply stated, the program enables minority enrollment in schools that have low minority percentages. It is common knowledge that non-minorities benefit from higher incomes, property values and access to better education. Overall, non-minorities have access to adequate and stable economic resources that provide an easier way of life that is not afforded to minorities. I’m not surprised that in the 5 years of participation, I haven’t met a non-minority family/child in the program. Why would they send their child to a school with fewer resources and lower test scores? As a minority, my children and for the sake of this discussion, my son, benefits from a better education. So, how does this “perk” create a dilemma?
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My Simple Rant For Today: Hair

Posted on March 4, 2010 | 5 Comments

I have a hair issue. No, this isn’t a post about how my hair looks. Come on y’all, you know me better.

I have come to the realization that I just take issue with hair, period. I’ve rocked the razor short Halle Barry cuts to the super long hair down the curve of your back. No matter what length my hair is I always run into the same issue. AND my issue is beyond the hair on my head. I’m talking body hair and I’m not even a hairy person. I don’t have hairy arms or anything. (Though from a historical point, I have heard that some cultures find women with hairy arms to be super sexy – I think Africa actually. And then of course, we have Monique on the red carpet with her hairy legs, but I digress…). My biggest issue is that I can feel hair, but then I can see it, too. I know this sounds weird, but read below. And I ask… is it just me?

Hair at primarythoughts.net

To Feel:

Do you feel loose hair? I can feel a loose hair on my body anywhere. Currently, my hair is a little longer than shoulder length and you would think that with all of that hair on my neck I wouldn’t feel a loose hair, but… I can. I can be walking through the store and feel a hair tickling the middle of my back. I can feel one that has barely left my scalp, still in line with all the others and is just barely grazing over my breast. I have to stop and remove it. I can’t help it. Doesn’t matter the length – it was the same when my hair was shorter. So, if you ever think you see me in the store and the woman is looking down her shirt… yep, go on and call me by name and introduce yourself. It’s me.

When you wash your hair in the shower… do you get tired of removing loose hairs from various parts of your body? The ones that collect right at the top of my bum are a breeze to remove, but the stragglers that cascade across my stomach, arms and legs! I spend more time trying to pick loose hairs from my body, then I do washing my hair. And this has nothing to do with hair loss, just normal shedding – I’ve been this way my entire life. Hated taking baths when I was little – hated all the floaty little hairs in the tub. Yuck!

So that’s the hair on my head, but there is more…

I despise lotion. How is this related to hair you ask? When I smear lotion on my body, I don’t like the way it makes the hair stick to my skin. Yes, I know, it only takes moments for the feeling to go away, but I’d rather use oil on my body instead – can’t stand lotion. And the better the lotion moisturizes the worse it feels. I only use lotion on my face and in extreme emergencies.

Umm… I wouldn’t expect that any men would be able to chime in on any of the above… but here are some that are more generic…

To See:

1. I hate to see hair bound around the bristles of a broom.

2. I hate to see hair left in the sink, tub or shower.

3. Men, don’t you hate it when your woman uses your brush and leaves all the long stray hairs in the brush? Thank my son for that realization… he complains about that one on the regular.

4. I hate to see hair that has fallen on someone’s shoulder. To me it’s almost as bad as someone having their fly open. I just want to tell them… “Hey, you have a loose hair right there.” Am I obsessive compulsive? Maybe slightly.

Now, a quick horror story about hair.

My mother-in-law (ex now) questioned how I washed my towels. She couldn’t believe that I just threw all the kitchen towels in the with bath towels to wash. I considered her comment, went to my mom and asked her opinion. My mother stated that she always bought color-fast towels, washed them all together and just bleached the whole load. Seemed reasonable to me, so I continued my normal way of doing laundry. Fast-forward some months, years, whatever. I’m standing in the kitchen, I grab a towel and start drying a the dish. When I look down, I notice a nice thick pubic hair curled through the loops on the kitchen towel.

Blah! I hate hair!

© Primary Thoughts, Inc. 2010

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