My Simple Rant For Today: Hair

I have a hair issue. No, this isn’t a post about how my hair looks. Come on y’all, you know me better.

I have come to the realization that I just take issue with hair, period. I’ve rocked the razor short Halle Barry cuts to the super long hair down the curve of your back. No matter what length my hair is I always run into the same issue. AND my issue is beyond the hair on my head. I’m talking body hair and I’m not even a hairy person. I don’t have hairy arms or anything. (Though from a historical point, I have heard that some cultures find women with hairy arms to be super sexy – I think Africa actually. And then of course, we have Monique on the red carpet with her hairy legs, but I digress…). My biggest issue is that I can feel hair, but then I can see it, too. I know this sounds weird, but read below. And I ask… is it just me?

To Feel:

Do you feel loose hair? I can feel a loose hair on my body anywhere. Currently, my hair is a little longer than shoulder length and you would think that with all of that hair on my neck I wouldn’t feel a loose hair, but… I can. I can be walking through the store and feel a hair tickling the middle of my back. I can feel one that has barely left my scalp, still in line with all the others and is just barely grazing over my breast. I have to stop and remove it. I can’t help it. Doesn’t matter the length – it was the same when my hair was shorter. So, if you ever think you see me in the store and the woman is looking down her shirt… yep, go on and call me by name and introduce yourself. It’s me.

When you wash your hair in the shower… do you get tired of removing loose hairs from various parts of your body? The ones that collect right at the top of my bum are a breeze to remove, but the stragglers that cascade across my stomach, arms and legs! I spend more time trying to pick loose hairs from my body, then I do washing my hair. And this has nothing to do with hair loss, just normal shedding – I’ve been this way my entire life. Hated taking baths when I was little – hated all the floaty little hairs in the tub. Yuck!

So that’s the hair on my head, but there is more…

I despise lotion. How is this related to hair you ask? When I smear lotion on my body, I don’t like the way it makes the hair stick to my skin. Yes, I know, it only takes moments for the feeling to go away, but I’d rather use oil on my body instead – can’t stand lotion. And the better the lotion moisturizes the worse it feels. I only use lotion on my face and in extreme emergencies.

Umm… I wouldn’t expect that any men would be able to chime in on any of the above… but here are some that are more generic…

To See:

1. I hate to see hair bound around the bristles of a broom.

2. I hate to see hair left in the sink, tub or shower.

3. Men, don’t you hate it when your woman uses your brush and leaves all the long stray hairs in the brush? Thank my son for that realization… he complains about that one on the regular.

4. I hate to see hair that has fallen on someone’s shoulder. To me it’s almost as bad as someone having their fly open. I just want to tell them… “Hey, you have a loose hair right there.” Am I obsessive compulsive? Maybe slightly.

Now, a quick horror story about hair.

My mother-in-law (ex now) questioned how I washed my towels. She couldn’t believe that I just threw all the kitchen towels in the with bath towels to wash. I considered her comment, went to my mom and asked her opinion. My mother stated that she always bought color-fast towels, washed them all together and just bleached the whole load. Seemed reasonable to me, so I continued my normal way of doing laundry. Fast-forward some months, years, whatever. I’m standing in the kitchen, I grab a towel and start drying a the dish. When I look down, I notice a nice thick pubic hair curled through the loops on the kitchen towel.

Blah! I hate hair!

© Primary Thoughts, Inc. 2010